home

well im leaving London off home again. But as usual im worried at what to expect. My cat is ill and its the best cat in the whole wide world and im so worried about her. And things are a bit iffy in mums household. at least the weekend was good :) i hope it wont be to bad by the time i get back and that its a little calmer like the open sea on  a summers day.
SOOOO shivvy shut the fuck up and deal and stop wingeing. U CAN MAKE IT OK......

calm and happy to be me

i like it when things are calm and simple it makes me happy. i dont have to worry or wonder. its nice to look around and see smiley faces. there are things in this world we can not control but the things that we can still have influence over them. it might not be our own influence but at least its simple. i feel better being here im not lonely anymore, the thing that can drive me insane is being alone and having nobody there. myself becomes my own worst enemy. i suppose i should suck it up and deal but i guess its just my human weakness. but despite my weakness i have this euphoric happy smile on my face as for now im whole gain im not alone physically or mentally, my head is calm and quiet rather than buzzing with out of control thoughts. 

so for once im just glad to be me :)

this is what im doing right now.

im fucking smiling :)