sometimes i dont know what to think i dont know what say and i dont know what to do. i wish i could make everyone around me better and i wish i could make them see there faults. i think if they saw them then maybe things wouldn't be so bad. we all have faults and deep hidden secrets but we all have a conscious. and sometimes i wish i could turn mine off. i wanna be free with no worry i want no regrets and no thoughts for my past. these are things i cant change but me that i can change.
i would love to be skinny and confident and thoughtful. i wish i knew loads about the things that people spoke about. i feel like such a dumb ass.
i see my mum falling deeper and deeper i hate it i wish i could keep a smile on her face for just one day. i see molly and baz getting furthur apart they will be the death of each other. i see chris being a jack ass and not being there for mum. i see charlie growing up and cameron being ill i see alana confusion as she doesnt understand and i see kirstys face as if shes won. i then see myself i look in the mirror and i wipe the wet sad eyes. i look at myself closely picking out every floor in myself i hate that everything around me i cannot change. I will always be the dissaprovel or the disproved if u like but i do come away from that mirror and i get my shit together and i will fight i will fight until i die. i will use every breath to think or put things into the right path. and if i cant then im sorry but il just continue to try.
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