Ok Now Lets Go

Right I am in a good excited mood. And I think I have sat myself down and had some home truthes given to me by me. I need to take more chances and not sit and stay in my bubble of comfort. I need to throw myself in at the deep end more.. And yeah I think I would love a relationship with the right guy. But I am not gonna look. And this time around the guy is gonna have to be bloody special. Pear did want me once and I pied him with a really harsh brush off. I guess in a way this is my Karma. I am not saying that I should be feeling this way but I cant ignore the fact that I was mean once. I don't do mean very well but I think I am gonna try and be more mean and think about myself more. Because I need to. I was born to and I will live as a separate entity. Yeah I feel really sucky at points but what persons life doesnt. You have to feel all these different emotions to live. You cant hide behind a door forever. I need to make mistakes that are good bad and painful as that is how we grow. I want to be a well lived person. I want to get old and realize that when I look back I can smile and lose my last breath knowing that I truely lived each moment to the best I could. I will not fail myself because I am better than that. I want more and I am will find it. I will break from these chains and rise like a phoenix.